If They Come for Help, They are Ready to Change, Right?

If they come for help, they are ready to change.

It would not be crazy for you to think that a client is ready to move forward. If they made an appointment with you, or came to your office, or even talk a good game of what they are planning to do. I would encourage you to slow your roll and ask some questions to check in, and consider where they might be on the change journey. There may be more to unpack before true change can begin.

Consider the Change Model created by Prochaska and DiClemente — a framework for tracking the process of behavioral change.

The Change Model, created by Prochaska and DiClemente

Precontemplation: A person is unaware of the need for change, or they may have tried unsuccessfully in the past which causes them to not be ready to think about it seriously

Contemplation: A person recognizes that their behavior is problematic and is considering changing at some point in the future 

Preparation: A person has decided to change and is ready to take steps of action 

Action: A person is actively working to change their behavior 

Maintenance: A person is working to maintain their change over time 

Relapse: A person falls back into old habits or out of the new steps, and goes through precontemplation and contemplation stages again. 

Since change is actually a pretty severe and sometimes painstakingly slow process, those of us in the service industry are wise to learn some skills to get messy with the process. 

Here are a few questions to ask in order to help your client (and you!) identify what stage they might be in, and help them move them forward: 

• How ready are you to take steps to change? (commitment)

• What could be if you were to move this way? (vision)

• What could happen if you don’t take action? (negative vision)

• What is standing in the way? (obstacles)

• How committed are you? (1-10) (commitment)

If you are going to assume anything, assume that it is complicated. Assume they have the best of intentions but they are limited humans, with bad habits modeled by parents and hurts and hangups as adults, and confusing doubts and finicky motivation. 

When you are willing to press in and check on how your client is feeling and if these plans you are co-creating with them seem achievable. With your personality being different than theirs, you might go faster or slower or a different path than what would be best for them. Asking commitment questions helps you get a reality check on the process. And they will feel cared for, seen, and heard. 

Try it out! Let me know how it goes.